For Garrett.

Today my first son was born. His name is Garrett Taylor Ferguson. He was so beautiful. His curly hair and olive skin,hazel green eyes, I remember it like yesterday. Garrett was the best little boy, and I am sure, the best young man. You see, years ago I was not the best person, I was into drugs,never ate, and could not stick up for myself. I lost Garrett to his Dad during the divorce. From there I continued down a stupid path that has reflected on my relationship with him today. I have not seen Garrett in 6 years. The last time I was able to look into his beautiful little face was 6 years ago. It is the hardest thing for me to say...I haven't seen Garrett in 6 years. I feel like a horrible person for not fighting for him, ever. I know that he is being taken care of very well, but there is not a day that goes by that I don't want to breakdown and lose it. I think back and remember how he smiles and laughs, it is the sweetest thing. I have one picture of him, yes, ONE. Tylor, my 2nd beautiful boy, keeps it next to his bed. He wants to meet his brother so bad. He can't remember him. I wish so much that I get the courage to find and fight to see him. I am not sure how long this Mom can go without him anymore. I just want the world to know that I am sorry for my past decisions. I love Garrett very much, and wish that he could read this. I love you Garrett Taylor! I can't wait to see you one day. I know that you are a wonderful person and you deserved so much better. MOM (kellie)